When Illness Changes Everything

For over forty years, I’ve been a licensed Cosmetologist, and in more recent years, a certified medical nail technician. At my core, I am a doer—a caregiver who finds fulfillment in helping others, making their lives a little bit easier, brighter, or more beautiful. Saying no has never come easily to me; my instinct has always been to step in, to offer help, and to do whatever I can for the people around me.

But living with fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, and mental health struggles has changed what I’m capable of. I’ve lost friends, clients, and even some family—not because I stopped caring, but because my illness forced me to set boundaries I never wanted to set. The hardest part isn’t just the pain or exhaustion; it’s facing the reality that I can’t be the person I once was, the one who was always there for others, no matter the cost to myself.

My need to give hasn’t gone away, but I’ve had to learn that sometimes, caring for myself means saying no—even when everything in me wants to say yes. It’s a lesson that’s painful, and one I’m still working on.

This blog is my new way of helping. Here, I can share honestly about the invisible struggles, the grief, and the ongoing journey of redefining what it means to care—both for others and for myself. If you’re struggling to let go of the person you used to be, or if you’ve ever felt judged for your limits, I hope you’ll find comfort and understanding here.